electric twist

it's absolutely ridiculous how fast things can change

at this time

6 days ago i was madly crazy happy, in what i thought was a perfect relationship

5 days ago i was out drowning out the heartbreak i was feeling by
intoxicating myself.
4 days ago i was crying myself to sleep and realizing that never again would i be able to
touch his cheek or call him baby
3 days ago i was moving on fast , fucking with my own head and realizing im ridiculously stupid
2 days ago i was just trying to get through the day and not freak out about the next day coming
today , i started out by doing my best to look as temptingly beautiful as possible , i then went on to completely freaking out over seeing just one person and convincing myself that things could not get any worse and that the rest of my day should just be flushed down the toilet.



but things change
in a matter of about 5 or 6 hours all the hurt i was feeling was washed away
clean slate
it's interesting how easily i fall for him .
it's like im under a magical spell , like all the worry i had , all the pain that he caused , was just wiped away. im not saying im going into something bad , that im going to just keep getting hurt over and over again , believe me if this happens again , my forgivness will not be given to him.

im living in a different world. it's like i've lived three different lives in the past couple days, first the normal, or what i knew as the normal, then the broken, hurt, painful reality of loosing something you cared about and not even knowing why they left, and then a whole new world. completely foreign to me , but at the same time i know i lived it in a former life.
it's like meeting someone for the first time, sharing something special with them, then leaving and not seeing each other until years later, then reconnecting after all that time and change.
i've had way to much time to explore my mind in the past days and im glad i have to start letting people in again.



it really kicks yaaaa